LEGO maniac

2010-03-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

Vincent was the son of a baron of the Greater Sand Plain. he was a decent person, until someone decided to pour a casket of rats on him. after that, he turned bitter and went all out hostile on 'Blizzard' company.

2010-03-13T11:50:00.000-08:00

now back to the story...

"our group of recruits was known as 'Blizzard' company. and we had our private nemesis, 'Trail' company. it was all fun and games as a few exchanged pranks between drills. but there was on person there who never played a prank on any one. Vincent."

2010-03-06T12:37:00.000-08:00

Today instead of the normal story entry, I decided to this funny fact with you. one day my brother saw a squirrel out the window and decided to play a prank on it. so he went up to the window with a cushion and slammed it against the window. in response, the squirrel jumped straight up and turned 360 degrees and landed in utter confusion. If you want to replicate this scene, remember that there is a risk of breaking the window(that means you TOBY!)

2010-02-27T12:32:00.000-08:00

" a few days after that incident, we arrived at Dargonn Port. And so began our training. those pale skinned, soon tanned; those smooth fleshed, callused and sun-burnt. We all sweated from sun up to sun down."
" I learned how to mend wounds on the run, in the wilderness, and in the midst of warfare."

2010-02-21T15:04:00.000-08:00

"three days at sea and we were all over the excitement of embarking to a unknown land and we were close to a episode of cabin fever, then the unexpected happened. a small bundle of rafts lashed together with cord drifted toward our ship and was manned with a rag-tag group of eight men armed with stone tipped spears."
"when they drifted up to the boat, one of them held up his spear and began hollering,
"Surrender. you are doomed.surrender."
"now we all thought that he was sun-struck and bonkers and we told him that he must be mistaken in the fact that he could over run a fully manned ship with only eight men, and we offered to feed them if they surrendered. he only threw his spear at us and continued to babble of our deaths.we couldn't bare to leave these men out at sea a moment longer so we kindly lead them to the brig. none of them ever recovered."

2010-02-13T10:28:00.000-08:00

That night had little revelry with those grim words to think about. but once we were on the ships, I was in my element at the prow. the spray on my cheeks and the salt in my hair was as good as any homecoming. I remember every now and then divine overboard when we had a day without wind to see if I could catch any fish with my harpoon. sometimes I speared a salmon on the first few days when we were near shore. unfortunately, some people didn't agree with the sea. You could probably see Drogan(now known as Gan) chucking at the gunwales.

2010-02-06T11:11:00.000-08:00

Well here we are again, "Superbowl weekend". And the question "who will win the Superbowl?" comes by and is heard again from last year. What I wonder is why some people get so pumped up about people with shoulder-pads and face-guards running into each other chasing a ball of inflated pig flesh? they're half blind with adrenaline on the field and chugging "Gatorade" instead of water to stay hydrated, yet we cheer for one over the other. My statistics are...

1) 20% of Superbowl watchers are there to have a reason to yell indoors.

2)15% are there because their friends are there(And hold the remote.)

3)20% to see the rest of their extended family.

4) and 45% of them are in for the commercials.

If you have any opinions, feel free to post them. ;)

2010-01-29T13:35:00.000-08:00

"There was hardly a person in the tavern who could not sympathize with Drim and all of us were not the intended target of his burning rage toward the spwn.
"the day before embarking to the Blistering Land of the sand people and spwn, we were taken to a large hall full of other people going to the same war as we. on the stage up front was a gigantic figure that rivaled Grban( or Jorric as we had nicknamed him.) in height and looked every inch a warlord as the styles he had adopted. when the crowd went silent he began to speak out to us.
"You may come to know me as commander Grantonn or as a friend. In this war that we are about to take part in, many expect to grow rich in glory as a hero. the truth of the war is that many of you will not come back home. and most that do may be maimed or in a bag. there is a stand out side this building where you can drop out of the army if you are afraid. many of you will go to that stand and I won't blame you. nightmares lie beyond the sea as well wonders. GRONKAR'S TEETH! does any one know what a gnoll is because I don't. now don't answer that, because what you do know may be highly exaggerated and far-fetched. what we do know is that if we go, there will be one less spwn to terrorize the innocent or kill the weak. we are here on a crusade or purging might and those people who go will be proud that they fought in the war and saved what lives they could. tomorrow there will be no going back on those ships. once on board, you will be headed for war against the dark souls of the enemy after months of training upon disembarkment at port Teir. now enjoy your selves before the morning comes and sleep well."

2010-01-23T11:46:00.000-08:00

"When we were waiting for the weather to clear up in a road side taven, Drimmeir told us about his life.
"Drimmeir was raised on a mountain ranch by his parents until he was ten years old. with some discussion with his parents, he was sent off to a militarily school to serve his home land with a will. During his graduation ceremony, he got word that his mother had died of sickness and left immediately to attend the burial. since then he had been serving in his country's army until he was told that his father had passed away in his sleep.
"Drimmeir went out like a bag of roots and woke up in the infirmary. the next night he snuck out to head home to bury his father and run the farm. when he got there it was over run with more Fellspwn that you could shake a stick at. since then, Drim had been hunting Spwn night and day and serving as a military officer in every odd war. when he heard of the new war against the Darkplain, he was first in line to brain the recruiter till he signed his name for military service in the war.

2010-01-11T14:05:00.000-08:00

"Later, as I traveled to the departure point, I made friends with some veteran soldiers."
"Grban (gear-BAN)(back) was a ForgeMaster and quite literally 'war-forged'. He was immensely strong as well as tall. And it seemed that there was nothing that he could not bludgeon through."
"Then there was Drimmeir(Drim- EAR)(front). a expert sharp-shooter and a master at stealth watching. He never left his room without his custom silver revolving .6 SMW sm(Standard Metal Weight Small) Peltpierce, Surfyre(gun in right hand)."

2010-01-01T13:22:00.000-08:00

"now, as a young person, the first thing I did after signing up was make friends with other participants."
"one of the friends I made was Drogan(drO-gan) (on the left), was a warrior of several heritages but amazingly wise for a man valued for his knowledge in explosives."
"Kratorna(mortan on the right)(we all called him Torma) another was friend I made and you always could find him in battle by running torward the flying bodies of enemies tossed by his great hammer, and his hot tempered howls of fury."

2009-12-29T15:15:00.000-08:00

"We'll talk about that later." Jagg replied flatly.
"now, when I was a young lad, I decided to join the war. I was young and without much common sense to comprehend the dangers of combat. after several years of strange, out of the mind misadventures, I believe that if I knew that all of what i am to tell you i would have fainted at the stand.

2009-12-20T11:25:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas once again and here we are to celebrate. In the story of the Nativity, three magi from the known corners of the world, Asia, Europe, and Africa came to give gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, worthy of a king, to a newborn child, baby Jesus. He didn't deserve these presents. he was gust there and was given gifts. Christmas is like that also. It doesn't matter whether or not some one deserves presents this year, it's about sharing and caring with your friends and family and forgetting grudges. celebrate this holiday with a smile for every one no matter what the said or did earlier this year, just be the best person you can this season. Merry Christmas blogsters every where.(Bonus points if you notice a five preview characters in the tree.)

2009-12-13T17:03:00.000-08:00

"You were in the Dessert Wars?" To'mec said astonished.
"well seeing that your now know my secret I may as well tell my story."
"that must mean you're..." Moiraine said.
"86 years old." Jagg finished. "and still jumpin'."
"that means you survived three plagues." To'mec added.

2009-12-06T01:39:00.000-08:00

When they got inside the house, Jagg went over to a small pile of things after he took off his packs and dug out a small oil lamp and lit it with a small dancing flame that shed light on the interior of the house.
"I'm sorry," Jagg said. "but this small lamp is all I have to light the house."
"I doesn't matter Jagg." Moiraine assured him, sitting down. "just to guests is an honor enough."
"I myself," To'mec began. "truly don't feel like eating so early in the afternoon. I'm just so egar to here the story of your life."
"Well, fighting in the Dessert Wars isn't what I though it was."

2009-11-29T10:40:00.000-08:00

"These flowers are so beautiful." Moiraine said, gently tilting a rose-like flower with her hand.
"Yeah," To'mec agreed. "but you'd probably get sick if you touch them without a prescription."
"Eek!"Moiraine piped, drawing her hand away from the petals of the flower.
Jagg gave a goodhearted chuckle, " I used to do that to my apprentices all the time."
"You have an apprentice?" To'mec asked.
"Well not at the moment." Jagg replied. "most of them only wanted to lean about plants and moved on to universities. only one of them ever became a healer."

2009-11-26T01:00:00.000-08:00

Hey there blogsters one and all! We come upon that time of year that borders Autumn and Winter which we celebrate Turkey Day to see friends and family. Not only do we celebrate by gorging ourselves on domesticated turkey, but we constantly fight over the legs of this roasted beast. ;) (any complaints on my hedgehog, YOU try and find a "hedgehog" brick in your "LEGO" collection.)

2009-11-23T12:13:00.000-08:00

"It sounds like you have quite a story to tell, Jagg." Moiraine commented, eager to here an epic of their new friends life.
"Not until we reach my house, friend." Jagg replied. "around here, stories are to be told under a roof and only under a roof."
So they continued walking for a little more than half an hour without talking until the came to the other side of a hill. what To'mec and Moiraine saw on the other side was a small house, made of giant leaves like the houses of the jungle tribe mortans. out side there was a small garden box with several herbs next to a potted plant and a small shrub withe gray flowers and yellow fruit that gave off a tropical smell.

2009-11-16T15:02:00.000-08:00

Jagg did not talk for a long time as they continued to walk to his house. after several minutes he finally started to talk again.
"Yes," Jagg said, a strange shadow cast over his face."I once answered the call of war. I once trod to the beat of the Hel-Borne drum. With this sickle, I killed countless men when all I wished to do was heal comrades how were hopelessly doomed to die for a greater good none of us knew."

2009-11-09T16:46:00.000-08:00

"And what would you guess upon to say what I did during a past period?" Jagg asked, surprised mildly.
"Well first of all," To'mec began. "your sickle, I doubt that a farmer would embellish a tool with a light crystal."
"and the way you walk. you seem to step in time to a long silenced flute or drum with a bit of added pride when one walks among an army."

2009-11-02T12:58:00.000-08:00

"People 'round here call me Jaggun but you can call me Jagg." the older being said. "I'm a healer and care for all the people brought to me."
"Yet you wear a gun on your belt?" Moriane asked quizzically.
"In these troubled times, even healers must protect them selves." Jagg said sadly."it is sorrowing that we must bear arms just to walk quiet roads and walk by ponds."
"But," To'mec said."I don't believe that you always stayed at home sorting kelp."

2009-10-31T06:52:00.000-07:00

And there the gumball machine lay, ignored by all. Ignored because it was that time of year when all candy machines lie deserted and ignored. The day when all candy dispensers lay forgotten in the shadow of something far more menacing. The night when all the pumpkins of the US put on frightening faces and cackle with mouths of flame. IT WAS HALLOWEEN! happy Halloween blogsters one and all :) !

2009-10-26T11:52:00.000-07:00

"Well..." the Sea-mortan said with a fatherly look. "where I grew up a man gave his bride a knife and was married and in another place, a girl gives the groom a scar. where are you staying for the night?"
"We're headed to Capelna." Moiriane answered quickly. "there's a silk distributor with a unpaid bill we should collect."
"You'll never make it there before nightfall." The elder mortan said. "come to my place for the night. it's just off the road and I haven't anything else to do."
"Thank you kindly sir." To'mec accepted gratfully. "but we would wish to know the name of our host."

2009-10-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

(Sorry yet again.)

Then they noticed the elderly mortan with a missing leg and those unmistakable withered Sea-Mortan hands was standing not two paces away on the road.
"I always thought that a couple looked best when bickering myself." The stranger deftly commented.
"WE ARE NOT MARRIED!"To'mec and Moiriane hollered.
then, thinking it over and remembering his manners To'mec added, "That is we are not wedded in any form know to us."

2009-10-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

"And..." Moiriane said.
"And I did do some military executions," To'mec replied sheepishly. "but I never said that I was proud of every thing I did. Anyway, that's beside the point."
"What point?"Moiriane said quizzically.
" That I refuse to go a step further and always having to pull your bacon out of the fire. You'll have to find a New bodyguard."

2009-10-06T14:23:00.001-07:00

sorry for the late post ;)

"To'mec!"
"Oh yeah, " To'mec began again."I FORGOT THE BOUNTY HUNTERS!"
"well," Moiraine began."at least I didn't lie about being a mercenary."
"HEY! I only fought in the Mal'gota skirmishes."

2009-09-27T05:41:00.000-07:00

If you were to travel through space and time, and end up on an alien world full of rahi and mystical people you would have probably come across two mortans at a crossroad. one male, the other female. and if you could here them, you would have heard some thing like this...
"Tell one more time why in the name of the great beings you lied about your name!"
"To'mec! for the last time, do you realy think my father would let me go out into the world if I didn't disguise my name?"
"so now I stuck with Moiraine( say it with me, mAW rAIn), the bloody Merchant Queen and heir to the famous Nieckoam the Mage of Altrus. and now there's 13 guys trying to catch us, NOT including the bloody assassins!"

2009-09-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

Since one vote is not a poll, I'm delaying the next story to give you time to vote on the poll again.
;)

2009-09-13T04:51:00.000-07:00

hi again:) this is Iggy the demonic thing. I'm hoping to make Iggirs a regular on my blog.

2009-09-06T05:42:00.000-07:00

Hi there! I've decided to continue making stories and try and find a mascot for the blog.

2009-08-30T06:38:00.000-07:00

hi there! this week I want to see what you want out of this blog. stories, movies, a mascot, etc. by the way I saw the poll results( and they say your all adults.) ;)

2009-08-23T04:39:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. today to celebrate the new school year I will post what some awesome teachers can come up with.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles in beef jerky.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes. he knocks 1 pin down and the other 9 faint.

when Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. never slap Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King, and got one. :O

Chuck Norris destroyed the Periodic Table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

some people wear Superman pajamas; Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

hope you enjoyed these. :)

2009-08-16T04:48:00.000-07:00

hey there! I have some bad news. my brother is no longer helping with creations. some how he got bored of them. I looked at the poll results and they say that everyone of you is an adult.I'm also glad to announce the 3rd season of A Bionicle Story will be coming soon.and if possible, I might make Vids to show you. happy blogging every one!:)

2009-08-10T05:42:00.000-07:00

"hey there. sorry about the lack of posts. my brother has developed a habit of sleeping in te same room I photo-shoot in, and I don't poke the bear(aka people who sleep-in). do to the up coming school year and a new schedule the posts will move to once a week on Sundays.
you might forget the last post but you can all ways reread." :)

2009-08-06T05:25:00.000-07:00

"Yes," answered Random. "how will we all fit in there?"
"you can go in first and tell your friends." Strom answered.
at that, the ghosts opened all the rooms and waited. finally, Random walked up and entered the mens room. his head disappeared as he climbed down the ladder on the inside of the of the box after a while they heard something.
"WWWWHHHHOOOOAAAA! THEY HAVE DOWNY BEDS DOWN HERE!"

2009-08-05T12:59:00.000-07:00

At that, the ghost began to quiver and raised a clawing hand as if to take hold of Perrin's face. in a well practiced movement, the ghost's hand flew through Perrin's head and was pulled out in what seemed to be a second.
dropping the ghost's spear, Perrin stiffed up and collapsed on to the floor.
" I wish they had more self control." Yassier mumbled. "what you see in front of you is what I call a Quiet box. who ever is in there will not be able to use any sort of power and will not need to eat or drink as long as your in there. it will also keep you the same age no matter how long your in there. you'll be guided to meal times. any questions?"

2009-08-04T04:49:00.000-07:00

So they traveled through the maze of corridors and chambers until they entered a room filled with three odd looking containers and two misty beings holding weapons.
"Home sweet home. men get the large one, ladies get the smaller one, and the lion hearted one gets the quiet box." Yassier explained.
"if you need me, you can tell one my ancestors to lift the lid and guide you to me."
"There is no such thing as ghosts! I'll prove it." And with that, Perrin snatched a spear from one of the ghosts and began to stab it repeatedly. "see? there is no such thing as..."

2009-08-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Wells has the daggers, Hectum has the shield, Munns has the feathers we call him Mouth, Strom has the halberd, and Mike has the walking mace. Strom and Mike you accompany us to your rooms with one of our skeletons..."
"Oh no," moaned Mouth. "not again. do we have to show them the Box every time?"
"We'll need to put one of them in there any way Mouth." Yassier coolly replied. "our loin hearted friend needs a place he can't hurt him self."
"If I ever get my hands on you..." Perrin mumbled. "you'll turn black and blue."

2009-08-02T06:35:00.000-07:00

sorry for the lack of posts yesterday XD!

THUD
"oh my gosh, he passed out!"
chuckling, Bloodeye returned to his seat.
"Does he do that every time some one...."
"only when they mention his being a W, A, R, lock. he prefers the term, Doomsayer."Yassier replied. " I'll show you to your rooms after I introduce you to my men. you already know Gaartane. the doomsayer is Dloodeye. and this friend to my right is Balcior."

2009-07-31T05:53:00.000-07:00

"so," Urthwrath said, turning to Yassier. "what is all of this guest stuff about?"
"well it all started when a cleric of the Raven Queen decided to start a temple to house all the gods. like all before him, it didn't start well. the clerics of all the good and lawful good gods came but the unaligned were to free to join and most worshipers of the eviler gods refused to mingle with the others. but some did arrive to the cause."
"after a wile, some of the more chaotic priests tried to sacrifice visiting pilgrims. after that the founder put a copper plate next to the ever open door reading, 'over the wall comes a thief, this foolish man will come to grief, a man though the door, will be your guest evermore.' some say that the plaque was blessed by the Raven Queen to hasten a thief's death, all I know is that we still fallow the word of the plaque."
"all I know is that warlock is as ugly as a turd."
at that all in the hall fell silent and stared at Perrin. as perrin tried to find out what was wrong, the warlock silently walked up behind Perrin and put a hand on his shoulder.

2009-07-30T06:17:00.000-07:00

"Just put your arms over there." Yassier said as he pointed out a spot on the floor. "my men will put them in our safe room."
so the group of adventurers relinquished their weapons and sat down at the tables.
"you come over here and sit by me." Yassier motioned. "it's been ages since we last had guests and I would love to speak to you."
"I bet the food will turn out too be some sort carnivorous plant or something."Random said.
"HA HA HA." came the hearty laugh of the lead elf. "it's not even poisoned. dig in."

2009-07-29T07:59:00.000-07:00

And so they turned their weapons up and held them out stretched in front of them as they followed Gaartane. through series of passages and corridors which wound an unmemorable amount of times they finally met their destination. In a small room that must have been a dormitory at one time sat several tables laid with food and at the very far end of the room was Yassier him self.
"Welcome back from your patrol. did you wish for second helpings?"
"Sir," Gaartane Began. "these adventurers were found in side the gates."
"well let us not wait for the grass to grow. they're our guests any way."

2009-07-28T06:16:00.000-07:00

"Guest or not we'll fight you." challenged Perrin.
"We couldn't throw a spit ball unless first provoked." said Gaartane absentmindedly. "but right now you have provoked us enough to all get pierced through the head."
With the sound of a cracking whip, the statues turned around blocking the exit. in response, the adventurers held their weapons up in readiness.
"Put your weapons down or die."
"Do as he says Perrin." ordered Urthwrath.
"give me a reason cleric."
"One they have pole arms, we don't. two the statues are behind us. And three, the skeletons are back."

2009-07-27T04:53:00.000-07:00

Thud!
"whew! that was way to close to comfort Urthwrath." Quavered random as he caught his breath on the ground.
"Hey Urthwrath?"said the exhausted Perrin .
"What?"
"is there suppose to be a welcoming comity?"
and then they all noticed the group of men Perrin was talking about.
"Grand day to meet you I'm sure," said a green haired figure. "I am Gaartane, 2nd in command to Yassier the banished. and I hate to admit it but you are our guest."

2009-07-23T04:52:00.000-07:00

"All right, let's go."
And with that the group pounded toward the gap in the wall. The they heard stone grating on stone and the statues began to move.
"They're moving all ready?!! at this rate Random will be blocked out!!!"

Will Random make it with his friends? Will they meet the crazed necromancer Bloodeye? Will they ever see the elusive elf Yassier? find out later in the month.

( I will be going to camp [again] and will not be able to make any posts so expect the next one on 27th)

2009-07-22T05:42:00.000-07:00

*NOTICE* Sorry for the lack of posts yesterday, the internet was down most of the time. XD

"Funny," Perrin commented as the skeletons passed by. "I'd have thought they would be in habits. wonder where they are."
"Right in front of you, you great lummox." Galad scolded in a whisper. "those garden boxes have been turned into fire pits!"
"Thank you for the lovely picture to think about Galad."Urthwrath said in response to the disgusted look on Kissata's face. "any way I think the statues are there too keep people from getting out, not to keep us out."
"So?"
"The plan is to make a dash for the entrance and if the statues begin to move, run for all your worth and get in there."
"ok, but after Random finishes blowing chunks."

2009-07-20T05:39:00.000-07:00

"So here we are, waiting for something." Said a very bored Galad. "and all I see are empty garden boxes."
"Well... it could be worse." added Kissata. "I mean... hey, where's Random?"
"He's barfing behind that bush." said Perrin, pointing to the regurgitating tiefling. "he says he'll walk next time."
"By the way," Urthwrath said, tapping his shoulder. "where did you learn that song?"
"sshhh, get down." whispered Galad urgently. "guards."
And by the temple came a troop of clacking bones with pieces of leather holding the joints in place. one of these skeletons held a heavy torch and a full head of hair on his bony scalp.

2009-07-19T07:48:00.000-07:00

several hours later...

"Perrin! will you shut up!by the time we get there they enemy will know were here!"
"well sorry Urthwrath, it's not my fault that there's nothing to look at but trees!" Said the agitated warrior. "besides, it was only eight verses more till the end of the song."
At that moment the tree folk stopped in their tracks.
"THIS IS WHERE WE PART TREE FRIENDS."
Announced Greenbeak. "GO NORTH BY EAST TILL YOU SEE THE OTTER AND HIS WIFE. THEN YOU SHALL HEAD WEST TO THE TEMPLE. BE WARNED, THE VICTIMS OF THE STEW POT STILL WALK ON CREAKING LIMBS."
And with that the Greenbeak and the dryads fled to the deep woods.

2009-07-18T06:39:00.000-07:00

"HOLD ON SWEET HEARTS."
"Wait, what?!"
And at that, Greenbeak picked up both Galad and Kissata and deposited them on his back.Then the trip began. Galad often look at how well the others were doing.Kissata just stared at the trees, Random face was screaming with both fear and sickness, Urthwrath was hanging, and Perrin was babbling on about the songs he knew. None of them ever improved. After the first mile or so Perrin began to sing "Bear cubs at the Yard" with repeated missed notes and off key at that. several times during the song, trees seamed to smack Perrin upside the face at any given time.

2009-07-17T05:17:00.000-07:00

This is my 200th post! And to celebrate it is this preview of the next Bionicle story!
(sorry about the guy on the left being blocked out. the camra never sees the same way you do XD.)

2009-07-16T11:42:00.000-07:00

"IT WOULD BE AH SHAME TOO WASTE SUCH A BRAWN WARRIOR." said Greenbeak, admiring Perrin for his courage. "WHERE DO YOU SEEK?"
"I don't know," Perrin said sarcastically. "Just some bloody place called the bloody cradle of bloody adoration in these bloody mountains filled with a bloody half mad elf and bloody living statues!"
"I KNOW THE PLACE WELL" Greenbeak replied. "WE'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT."
At that, the dryads lurched forward with open arms and grasping hands.
"you keep your bloody vines off o' me you collection of splinters!" raged on the irritable Perrin. "I'll have your head for this!"

2009-07-15T06:10:00.000-07:00

suddenly stepping out of the tree line were three large beings each made of a single tree formed a line and uttered a single word.
"get ouut."
"And who says you lousy shrub hugers!" Hollered Perrin, waving his ax angrily.
"I DOOO."
and out of the trees came a huge tree being nearly four stories tall with red, amber eyes and a wooden beak large enough to crush a cow's head.
"I AM GREENBEAK. GUARDIAN O'V THESE BRAWN WOODS. THE FOOLHARDY TREE KILLER SHALL NOT ENTER."
"what? you mean this wee hatchet?" Perrin said motioning to his ax." I couldn't cut a tree down with this if I wanted to."
"YOUMAY NOT JOIN YOUR GROUP IN MY WOODS."
"know listen here you sissy tree kisser," Perrin hefting his ax in a threatening way."if I can't be with my friends in those bloody wood of your I'll have to slay a few of your sissy tree dancers before you blink you bloody catch me with those lousy mallets you call hands."

2009-07-14T05:05:00.000-07:00

"did you have to sing 'It a Small World' Random?"asked Kissata.
"can't I be left in peace?" Random asked, adjusting his quiver. "we were about to leave that place any way."
"I feel like killing the next living creature I come across."Perrin added, hefting his ax.
"we'll have to spread out soon." Urthwrath said, motioning to the nearing line of trees."we've reached the mountains."
"good."Perrin said in a wicked sounding tone, testing the swing of his ax. "finally time I repay those dryads for my father's bad leg."

2009-07-13T04:56:00.000-07:00

"Are you mad?!"Benjo yelled as he entered the circle."Do you think you can just walk into a temple as if to a tea party?"
"Well..."Perrin said."what's to stop us?"
"those mountains are patrolled by dryads and treant most of the summer."Benjo hollered. "You'll take that ax as your own death sentence on that trip."
"All the better. now I can repay them for my father's bad leg."Perrin said, deftly spining his hammer.
"As you all know, the temple is now defended by a warlock." Benjo continued."who probably enchanted some statues to crush any at the gates and dead clerics to feed off of ya!"

2009-07-12T04:43:00.000-07:00

"Shouldn't we be focusing on the prophecy?" Uthwrath inquired.
"Simple." Perrin answered."it's a bunch of hog wash that doesn't even rhyme."
"Bite your tongue Perrin."Galad scolded."It's a wonder the gods have not struck you with some sort of other worldly fire."
"Let's just ask Ben if he can tell where the bloody elf is."Random hollered at every one with in ear-shot.
"Yassier always talked about going to a shrine in the mountains call 'the cradle of adoration'." Benjo said after a moment thinking.
"that's it!" Kissata exclaimed."that's the end of the pilgrim's journey! the shrine!"
"then let's get our bloody bottoms over there and get this prophecy done with!"Growled the ill tempered Perrin.

2009-07-11T04:43:00.000-07:00

"That was it?" Perrin had said, pointing his hammer. "we may have gone streaking and done the same amount of good."
"For once Perrin," Random clarified."I think I actually agree with you."
"will you guys stop it!" Galad exclaimed."we all know you two don't care for help from above but would you try to accept some help when it comes?"
"You can go to some temple, worry about good and evil and become a cleric, but I believe that the gods favor those who help them selves."
"now please, no fighting lads." Benjo pleaded. "we're still on sacred ground."

2009-07-10T06:40:00.000-07:00

Benjo dropped his wrench as he walked on to the platform. He took some incense from a mounted bowl and threw equal shares into both chalices and the brazier.
Stretching his arms out in a begging gesture benjo cried to the cavern's wall, "Loun, we humble mortals seek help to find the crazed and lost warlord Yassier. Please favor our cause."
in a great flash a tall pillar began to form as dust from the sides of the pool floated to the center of the pool. A glowing form of dust appeared at the top of the pillar and tilted its head down toward Benjo.
"Ben," the glowing figure began," why do you ask for what you already know?"
"Goddess,"Benjo,"replied I truly do not know where he is. Please, help our cause."
"Yassier has begun his decent in to madness." Loun explained."He has sworn the oath of cannibalism but has retained most of his gentle man character. the demon he spoke to was a old acquittance of his grand farther who had saved the fiend's life from poisoning.He had returned to return the favor but was seen.the fiend was now monster offering demonic powers, only a thankful soul."
"Goddess that is quite a story but how is it to help us?"Benjo asked pleading.
"this pilgrim's journey will start at its end and one of you friend's group will be lost to Beastile nature as the mad one's defeat. that," Loun ended."is my prophecy."

2009-07-09T09:54:00.000-07:00

"whoa! who would have known that all of this was under some old shed." Kissata said, staring at the massive cavern before her with widening eyes.
"this used to be Yassier's favorite place to be alone." Benjo explained, "He was a extremely spiritual person and he often went here to meditate. that stone altar past the pool is where he used to keep his symbols of the gods before he left with them."
"so why are we here?" Random asked.
"to ask for help." Benjo replied.

2009-07-08T05:00:00.000-07:00

"I still don't see why some one would live in a shed when he was offered a perfectly good house..."
"Good to see ya laddies!"Benjo exclaimed as he swept down the patio.
"Well we weren't excpecting you to give us a warm welcome..."said Uthwrath.
"I saw you stroll in to the lord's manor and thought that you must be trying to out luck Yassier and his cronies. he was a fine laddie before every one thought he was a satanist or whatever they said."benjo had said, his eyes down cast on the last sentence."
"well we could use your advice on where we might find him..."
"HA! I'll do better than that laddie. I'll tell you every thing you need to know. but first step into my humble abode."
"there's no possible way that all of us will fit in there."Kissata muttered

2009-07-07T04:42:00.000-07:00

"is there any chance you would know where the elf is based sir?"
"he was chased out the east side of town so one might think of looking that direction for the person but he may have made a change of direction when he went past are view of the hills. you might ask old Benjo for some advice. he used to be Yassier's servant but lost faith in him after that demon sighting."
"has the elf ever made a vow or something we should know about?"
"it's said that his breast plate is made of mithril and that he swore never to eat the meat of an animal again."
"so... he's a vegetarian?"
"supposedly."

2009-07-06T04:45:00.000-07:00

"I have a question."
"yes, and your name would be...?"
"Random. is Bloodeye a strong enough necromancer to call undead assistance?"
"he probably is. also you might find Yassier's ancestors at his sides supporting his attack on this settlement."
"which begs the question, why?"
"you see... this used too be his town."
"???"
"several years ago he was found talking to a demon in an ally and despite my efforts, he was chased out with those loyal to him and I was elected as the new leader with Yassier absent. he was a good lord and I would have followed him had not the crowd gone ahead of me."

2009-07-05T04:57:00.000-07:00

"And I believe that problem is what we're here to discuss."
"yes, the is an elven warlord named Yassier who has been opposing this settlement for months and it is believed that he as hired a warlock by the name of Bloodeye."
"and why would some one have that name?"
"he replaced one of his eyes with a crystal after an accident with a wild hog. I am willing to pay you 80 gold pieces each for the the warlock's false eye and 140 gold pieces each if you bring Yassiers head."

2009-07-04T05:01:00.000-07:00

"*sigh* what am I going to do about those two. and no, I do not want your opinion girl."
"you don't have very many friends, do you?"
"that's kind of personal don't you think?"
"well..."
"Urthwrath, if you wish to take a seat you may."
"..."
"ah, I see. you're the kind of leader that goes through all of the same hardships as you men. fine fine, if only there were more people like that in the world."

2009-07-03T04:21:00.000-07:00

"WALLASE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO STOP BEING A PARANOID RACIST!"
"but sir, she gave me a black eye."
"HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I SAID THAT I WAS GOING TO BREAK YOUR FATHER'S SHIELD?!"
" way... I'd be forced to kill y..."
"WELL IT'S THE SAME WITH THE ELVES SO GET THEIR ARMS ON THE DOUBLE!"
scramble
"whooo. those were some military grade orders right there."

2009-07-02T08:22:00.000-07:00

"now did you really need to hit him with your spear-butt?"
"he threatened to break my father's javelin."
"will you guys stop it. we're here."
"welcome friends. sorry there aren't any chairs. they were broken in a accident. which of you would I have the pleasure of calling the leader of this party?"
"I would, Urthwrath."
"why do you carry no arms?"
"your guards confiscated them and..."
"excuse me for a moment."

2009-07-01T05:13:00.000-07:00

"now look we can do this the easy way where we only take your weapons, or the hard way."
"I've had this staff for 3 years since my father died and I'm not about to hand it over to some thugs in plate armor."
"and this was my mother's javelin. I couldn't live with my self if any ting happened to it in the hands or some rabble leaders."
"did I mention this is not the social encounter to pay attention to?"

2009-06-30T04:42:00.000-07:00

"ok guys there's some good news and some bad news."
"and they would be?"
"the good news is that we can see the lord."
"ok then..."
"the bad news is the elves cant take any weapons or implements in side."
"WHAT!!!"
"what reason does he have?!"
"every one knows how elves have stronger feelings than others so he doesn't want any of you to go berserk."
"WHAT KIND OF A SICK RACIST JOKE IS THIS??!!!!"

2009-06-29T05:05:00.000-07:00

"as you might remember, random would be a tiefling."
"by the way Galad, that social thing reminded me of when you dated that barmaid..."
"dang it Urthwrath! I told you never to speak of that again!"
"well..now that the people know...youmight as well tell them."
"ok first of all it was not a date, we just daced. second of all, how the heck was I supposed too know she was a shadow assassin?"
"I thought you roughs had a sign language..."
"that for assassins only you blithering pasta head!"
"don't worry Galad, the same thing has happened to me too*sigh*"

2009-06-28T04:47:00.000-07:00

"hi guys. we're back."
"yes. as you see we've done some adventuring wile you gone."
"to my right is Kissata, an experienced elf warlock."
"charmed.*giggles*"
"and to my far left is Perrin, a warrior."
nod
"and Random is back there seeing if we can see the local lord about missing persons."
"pay attention to the social encounter you are going to see in a few posts. they can be used for a baseline on how to react and how to push a button or two."

2009-06-19T04:47:00.000-07:00

"lets talk about treasure."
"sure. first of all if you don't get the magical item you want it definitely not the end of the world. you could probably just by the same thing at the bazaar or something."
"and also remember that weight is a factor in this game. try to travel lightly."
" which brings us to an announcement."
"yes it does. the blog will be on break as we go to scout camp for the week."
"and this is a boys only trip so expect us to be back on the 28th."
"see ya later!"

2009-06-18T04:47:00.000-07:00

"let's go on to the subject of Non Player Characters."
"yes. first of all never cuss, moon, or give the single finger salute to any NPC. they're locally known, your a stranger, end of case."
"something you should also know is that you might be able to bargain with the NPCs to get a higher reward if you're polite, calm, maybe deceptive even."
"and if you want to impress them, you could try speaking in their native language."
"like that time you tried to speak elvish?"
"DANG IT URTHWRATH! I TOLD NEVER TO MENTION THAT!"

2009-06-17T04:47:00.000-07:00

"wile we're on the subject of people, let's talk about the players."
"yes. first of all, you might encounter a player who has no idea what he is doing. don't get mad, even if the entire group dies because of him your just going too end up laughing about it later."
"and for the people who know what they're doing, try not to abuse the use of your rouge. he is probably one of the most important guys in your group. he'll probably end up saving you butts in several encounters."
"oh by the way, if you have any questions about D&D, you can post it as a comment and we can answer it so don't hesitate."

2009-06-16T04:46:00.000-07:00

"ghosts will be shown as translucent green dudes with no arms, goliaths will be shown as "Jack Stone" characters, and warforged by that silver dude on the far left."
"let start our guide with what appropriate to say around other dungeoniers. first of all, NEVER mention T-bagging. it does not matter how you say it or when, its a term only meant for people who sit in front of an "X-BOX" all day playing "HALO 3" and doing multiplayer."

2009-06-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

"hi there! I'm Urthwrath the cleric on the left."
"and I'm Galad Gorwise, cat burglar extraordinaire."
"well be your guides in this side series of 'noobs guide to Dungeons & Dragons'."
"in this series we'll tell you what to do, what not to do, and most thing in between."
"let's start with races. in this series do to lack of brick variety, we'll tell you what to look for. most of the time if there's somebody wearing a horned viking helm, that's a tiefling."
"goblins will be shown with non-horned viking helms and never have facial hair. who has even heard of a bearded goblin? NO ONE IN THE AMERICAS!"
"any way...dragonborn will be shown as heavily armored tall folk like the one on the far left. most of the guys we're using for dragonborns have horns on their helmets so don't confuse them with tieflings."
"elves will have hair most of the time, eladrin will have colored eyes like mine if you can see them, half elves will have a rough shave, dwarfs will always have beards and most of the large helms do to the fact we don't have any "lego" midget legs,demons will be represented by the weird guys with rotating torsous, and humans will have leather caps or fence-fronted helm if they have a helm. try to remember that for future posts."

2009-06-14T04:46:00.000-07:00

2 hours later...

"a toast to the light!"
"to the light!"
"to Freezzan the titian!"
"to Freezzan!"
"so Zoray, where are you planing to go now?"(clyfask)
"I'm planing on heading to the sea front after this."
" I still don't see how we're supposed too pocket that reward."
"I know your excited To'mec, but that's a lot of silver."
"I think the Mek-speeders might break with that much to carry."

FIN............for now??:O

2009-06-13T04:48:00.000-07:00

"well that explains the lock."
"lock at the size of those gems."
"you could feed a family for a year and still have enough left over for a pony."
"and I think this green one I found is a one of a kind."
"there are some more light stones in here."
"Clyfask?"
"yes?"
"I think it's about time we get out the last barrel out."
"that thing has been aging for years. it's about time we have a taste of it."

2009-06-12T04:47:00.000-07:00

CRACK!
"I opened the pot."
click
"I opened the lock box."
"so why do you want to see what's in there right now?"
"if it's possible, we don't want to carry this flower pot all the way back to the lodge."
"and the chest?"
"we can carry it, I just want to see how careful we should be."
"fine by me."

2009-06-11T04:48:00.000-07:00

"what are you doing?"
"I think if I hit it hard enough, this flower pot will open."
"oh hey To'mec, should I tell them about the..."
"no Zoray."
"not even the..."
"no."
"what about the..."
"SHUT IT YOU BLOODY WOMAN! WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT BLOODY SLIME PIT STAYS IN THAT BLOODY SLIME PIT!!!"
"hey! I almost have it unlocked."

2009-06-10T04:50:00.000-07:00

"enough with this chit-chat, I'm opening this locker."
"Grul can you hold my sickle for a second, I have an idea about the beacon."
"will do."
"what's so special about the beacon?"
"first of all, there's a light stone an the top of it..."
"BLOODY ASHES! WHAT DID HE DO TO THIS LOCK, FIRE WELD IT?"
"the light stone is also flawless."
"odd in a matter..."
"and there's some thing in side of it."

2009-06-09T05:25:00.000-07:00

"To'mec Wavehammer, Adventurer."
"that a fine blade you have."
"it can chop onions but I don't mind the smell."
"To'mec! every time you meet a mortan, you start babbling champagne crap! I'm getting tired of it. so why..."
"you try being a mercenary for a couple of years. so Freezzan, why do you carry so many skeletons on your back?"
"the men who got lost during Grul's ancestors time, I killed. they killed my sacred beast the gale hawk nearly to extinction. that is why I let the dragons come in the first place and let them kill some. I just never knew the power behind them all would come to destroy these ridges and move on to leech another province after another."

2009-06-08T04:50:00.000-07:00

"hi guys! guess what we found. 2 snake hounds cooped up in a cage."
"I see you picked up some souvenirs."
"yes but why do I have to carry this stupid chest?"
"I have an idea about this beacon. But who the heck is he?"
"Freezzan, Storm of the Peaks, at your service. I dispatched those fleeing humans as they emerged. I've never seen a troglodyte run at 34 miles be for."

2009-06-07T04:48:00.000-07:00

ssskk
"since when do you keep your skinning knife behind your neck?!"
"well they never frisked us."
"you could have stopped all of this a hour ago!"
"my hands were bound women! how do you stick both of your chained hands behind your head and not look suspicious?!"
"you were armed the whole time and never told me?"
" 'to trick your enemies you must first trick you friends,' does that happen to ring a bell?"
"WHAT??!!!!!"
"never mind, lets get our equipment, pick up some loot and get to the others."

2009-06-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

"Darketh please, you don't have to do this..."
"so you think being bound, gagged, and thrown in to so cellar waiting for my trial is my idea of a fun time? I suggest you both put your hands behind your heads, turn around and lie on the ground be for I count to 10. 1...2...8..."
"do as he says."
"WHAT?!"
"just do it.you'll be fine."
"You'd better be right for your sake, To'mec."

2009-06-05T04:42:00.000-07:00

"is that Darketh?"
"he's half mad!"
"Darketh..."
"no one moves."
"be reasonable..."
"all of my dreams were about to come true and then your friends from the clan lodge come in and ruin the entire ritual."
"look there's an easy way and a hard way to do this. and I'm not hesitant on using the hard one."
"I don't think so. this thing I'm holding is fragbang version 3.2, has 8 rounds of scatter shot, 4 rounds of impact shots, and it takes half a second for me to reload it so I wouldn't get any closer if I were you."

2009-06-04T04:45:00.000-07:00

"why do we have to find Darketh?"
"if he finds one of the dragon cults, this mountain
will never know peace again."
"oh."
HHHHHOOOOOWWSSSSSSSTT!
"what the heck was that?"
"sounded like a snake hound!"
"you find your dog, we'll find Grayflame!"

"NOT GOOD!!!!!!!"

2009-06-03T03:55:00.000-07:00

"a one way trip to the 'ellgates where you belong!"
CRASH!
"WHERE THE HECK DID THAT COME FROM!"
"LET'S FIND DARKETH AND GET OUT!"
. . .
"ALL RIGHT EVERY ONE WE'RE..."
"STOP!"
"ah crud."

2009-06-02T04:48:00.000-07:00

"get off of her you slimy spawn of a earwig!"
"let go of meee mortan!"
"well scalebag you're taking a new flight path this time..."
"attack the golem!"
"chaaaaarrge!"

2009-06-01T04:50:00.000-07:00

DOUZ!
"that has to painful to get backhanded by a golem. all right snake hound in 3, 2, 1, and..."
"Eep!"
"youzz make more enough trouble for ussss. I stop yourr meddling now and drain youzzz."

2009-05-31T04:48:00.000-07:00

"I don't know how I just trampled him but Eulaliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaa!"*
"don't worry To'mec, I'll get you out of those shackles."
"don't worry about me your in enough trouble all ready."
"what do you mean?"
"good snake hounds. just pin him down WILE I BRAIN HIM WITH MY HAMMER!"
DUZ!DUZ! DUZ!
*(sry again Brian Jacques)

2009-05-30T04:47:00.000-07:00

"WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE THINGS?"
"less talk more helping,Grul.It's like fighting a hydra with this guy!"
"so that's what a clank is..............AAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
"I get facecutter good this time. I.... masther calls with red stone, mus go to masther."
"EVERY ONE OUT! I KNOW A SHORT CUT TO THE EXIT!"
"EVERY ONE MOVE! IN TO THE TUNNEL!"

2009-05-29T04:50:00.000-07:00

"scatter!they're to powerful for us troggs!"
"the wind comes you foolish mortans!"
"you humans are the fools to side with demons and dragons
"almost free..."
"release the clanks!"
"RUN ZORAY! RUN FOR ALL YOU'RE WORTH!GET AWAY FROM HERE!"
"what are clanks?"

2009-05-28T04:53:00.000-07:00

"kill them!"
"yyyaaagggghhh!"
"Grayflame! Grayflame! Kill! Kill! Kill!"
"oo look. gnomes."
"kill the white one!"

Clink
"hey! the chain came off! if only I could reach the other..."
"ssssslist!"

2009-05-27T04:54:00.000-07:00

"yes, and it's due time your life ended n oooooooowwwwwwwww! intruders! get them!"

"good shot."
"thank you. now give them a clan cry friend."
"Eulaliiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaa!!!!"*

*(sry Brian Jacques)

2009-05-26T13:41:00.001-07:00

"all salute for the coming of our lord master!"
"now look at Zoray, To'mec. look in to her big, watery eyes. now try to imagine her living happily with you dead. now say the words that make such an image so non credible."
"that she'll be a slave to you."
"not those words To'mec, the bed time story words that every mortan has heard from scrolls that have been passed down through count less generations."
"I love her....................."

2009-05-25T04:48:00.000-07:00

"not only have I seen fit for this mortan to die for my own personal reasons, but he has also mocked the Great Shadow!"
"hiss! hissk!"
"boo! boo!"
"oh no! she's awake again!"
"DARKETH! what happened to the mortan I knew?! the one who danced, who laughed, who cared and loved the helpless?!!"
"he is no more! and forget lifting those weights, there's enough pewter in them to sink a boat."
"DARKETTTHHH!!!!!!!!"

2009-05-24T04:47:00.000-07:00

"sixteensoldierswenttodie."
tak tak
"tobindourmasterbeneaththesky."
tak tak
"fifteenmorehavediedsofar."
tak tak
"toreleasethedarkeststar."
"WE ARE HERE TO WITNESS OUR LORD BEING RELEASED TO THE WORLD AS AN AVATAR!"
"RRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
"ALL THOUGH IT MAY NOT BE THE REAL THING, IT'S THE BEST WE CAN GET SO FAR!"
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

2009-05-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

"good mourning To'mec."
"oooowwwww. what happened to my head this time?"
"one of the troglodyte's clubs fell on you."
"by the time I out of here I'll be nothing but a great lump of scar tissue."
"I'm glad you can still share a joke."
"why can't I move my arms?"
"dimensional shackles. if you tried to force them off, it would take a Hundred years and more to do so."
"now comes the sacrifice."
"yes. I was hoping to drug you so you wouldn't feel any thing, but currently were out of forkroot and trollpoppy ."
"splendid."

2009-05-22T05:14:00.000-07:00

"Darketh."
"what is it Highstream?"
"the male is ready."
"OK EVERY ONE, GET THOSE SCONES LIT, PUT A FIRE IN THAT GOBLET, WIPE THAT ALTAR TOP TO BOTTOM AGAIN, AND WHERE'S THAT INCENSE?"
"I'll find the imps."
"wile you're at it find some chanters!"
"should I find a weapon for the Great Shadow?"
"not right now.BUT WHERE ARE THOSE INSTRUMENTS? AND WHERE'S THAT DRUM FROM LAST YEAR? "
"on it chief."

2009-05-21T04:48:00.000-07:00

"WHERE IS TO'MEC?!!!!"
"she'ss awake again."
"she woke up about five minutes ago, When you should have been here!"
"I all ready on it."
"what are you doing?!"
"probing in ssome nerv..."
"get your lips away from me!"
"hold sstill! I might acccidently drain you by!"
"fat chance scumfaced son of a..."
"here'ss the nerve."
"what are you..."
*poke*
"asleep standing?"
"yesss. and she should work perfectly for your experiment. she might even survive."

2009-05-20T05:15:00.000-07:00

"you can take him to the troglodytes and have them prepare him and the altar and tell Shadowblade to inspect the female, I he isn't fit to suck her blood I guess I can just use a sand leech."
"wait your letting the troggs take care of the preparations? what if the accidentally kill him?"
"you said that the female would work also, so I guess I could always wait for another specimen."
"I hate to say this but your actually wittier than me. I'll make sure the Shadow gives you stronger ranking authority position."
"thank you Shanshaz."